KU PIEN YAO CHIEW
while you're grocery shopping a NTUC, take a stroll down the alcoholic aisle. look for for the chinese alcoholic drinks and look for this drink called KU PIEN YAO CHIEW. it costs around 7 or 8 bucks i think, and its 42% in alcohol content. now that you've seen what it looks like, put it back where you found it or throw it into the bin. save the rest of the poor curious people about to try it. it is a fucking ginseng, cow bile, dragon cum drink. stay fucking far away from it man. for you own good and i mean it.
party at hamant's.
this account is as much as i remember, you must take into account that i was heavilly intoxicated and i could not even stand.
we had a bottle of KU PIEN YAO CHIEW and two full pints of jimbeam's and smirnoff. some baron's lying about. hamant's friend LEE and her girlfriend nina came as well. we drank and drank. i drank and drank. while people were taking sips, i was downing every damn thing. we were headbanging to metallica's ride the lightning and creeping death. anyway, i remember smoking and giving reuben a dead arm. then i took a shot of the KU PIEN YAO CHIEW. everyone was speculating on how it would taste, rotten pozzy feet or other bodyparts. my initial intention was to just smell how bad the shit was, once i took the shot glass, everyone was cheering and WOOH! joel's gonna down the shit! yea! someone to guinea pig! being a good sport, i downed the fucking shit. to my amazement, it didnt taste like old grandma feet. IT WAS FUCKING HORRID! worse than dimmu borgir vomit! the chinese herby smell lingered in my head for nearly a good 15 to twenty minutes and only good ol jimbeam could wash the ginseng smell away. we were talking about our old pot stock and all.
after this, i cant remember much. i only remember drinking the vodka straight off the bottle and shouting i can drink somemore! china man! or something with similar relation. next thing i know, im choking on my vomit and not being able to breathe and im alone in hamant's room. all of a sudden, jesus hamant walks in and shouts aye fez your friend is choking man. next thing i know, im puking. i dont know where but im puking, i find out later that im puking on reuben's bed. i pass out momentarilly on the floor. the next thing i remember is reuben bathing me once, than i puke all over myself again, then he bathe me again. then, LEE starts slapping me like a crazed bitch. screaming eh joel wake up! and slap slap slap slap slap slap slap.
the very next i remember, is waking up on the floor. looking at reuben's bed and seeing a rather futile attempt at a clean up with chlorox and bleach. hehehe.
so here you go, drink in moderation!
staying at ubi.
im sitting in front of my computer with two fuckers beside me staring at the screen. talk about consideration and privacy. alot of things have happened recently, staying w my dad and my uncle's passing and all. you can say its kinda stressful with all the new expectations around me. the only thing that cheers me up is that ive a new read - aleister crowley's diary of a drug fiend. been 'fantasizing' over the book after all the pent up fascination with the underworld, drugs and his acclaimed literary prowess.
so cheers all, will update more next time. will tell you guys about getting so stoned that i lay in my own pool of regurgitated malay rice and getting bathed by an irritating bastard who thinks he's shakespeare's reincarnation.
nag nag nag nag nag.
nag nag nag nag nag. NAG is for NOBODY'S ABSOLUTE GOODNESS.
heh, abit crappy la. well, i think the past week has been great. loads of stuff came my way. hp, drinks, ciggs. good week la. except for the nagging from the one and only nagger queen. concern my foot, more like spite. anyway im off to sleep. can you hear the nagging?
14/07/2005
went to school late today.
im tired of lying already. im sick of school but i want to take the o levels. and today has further convinced me that the entire teaching staff(w the exception of shave cock, KS and lulu) are fucking full of shit two faced moral-less figurines of deceit masked with sincerity. i am assured of my statement, i have no concrete evidence to prove them the way i propose them to be but my gut feeling is never wrong. so screw your promotion you little bitches, im not gonna let you have it.
you will be surprised at how fake our teachers are. the only teachers that really care are the ones who have been around for so long but yet never really risen to higher positions. just think about your late coming and the counselling sessions they give you in the world a principal would. a normal principal would think 'aahh, what a concerned teacher. so rare nowadays, promoted to HOD.' get what i mean? and think of it in the working world, where everybody is slicing throats for that extra 1k or 2k in their salary. why would our teachers be any different?
the only teacher i respect FULLY would be mr lee kim seng, my physics teacher from hell. he would bring lucifer and his entire cohort of demons to their knees in less than a minute and make them stand at the back of classes for generations and generations. he may be hell but he cares. he truly cares. another would be ms ong lulu. undoubtedly my favourite teacher this year, she is the most forgiving and caring character i have ever seen. god bless you ms ong.
i know for sure, im never ever gonna be a teacher. not in our education system anyway.
STUPID MDM WONG! 15/30?! FUCK YOU! and yingnuo's silent dejection.
went out with my dad that day. it was a flurry of emotions. FULLSTOP. too many things going through my head to put it all down into words. end of the day, i left parkway parade with a new handphone. the v3 razr. HELL YEA. you might think it symbolic that i traded my 6670 which my ma bought for me to get the v3 razr that my dad paid the rest after the trade in for. hmmm, well if you did think so. then stop thinking because it wont happen or at least i think it wont for the mean time.
oh the rejection. oh, the misery.
yingnuo's.
a million words would never sum up the feelings inside.
the insecurity, the joy and the ones about you that i hide.
the stars could fall and the moon never shine.
time will past but nothing will ever define.
standing on the same corridor as you and watching you smile at me.
standing on the edge of a broken ridge with hope shining and blurry.
the imperfections, the deceit. the person whom i would love to be.
to love you as perfectly as i could. to await the years on bended knee.
wishing we could be so much closer yet wishing it not to be.
the person that i am is not the person i really want to be.
the anxious anxiety. the truthless grins.
the bitter painful fall. will never redeem my past sins.
even though hope has failed and cupid a horrid mistake.
thankful for the care that i could give that you would take.
it isnt over yet, till the fat lady sings.
till you grow fat, till you start singing to me or till my heart rot within.
day before dota cold turkey attempt.
BMEzine is BANNED! this pissed me off seriously. why do authoritarians just always happen to be controlling, insecure and afraid of what they are not? there should not be any stopping of the human body nor should we grow up according to our government's 'clay' model figures. FUCK THAT!
savour what is left my friends. for the sweetness that lingered once in our lips will linger no more.
www.bmezine.comi havent been practising my nerdy ways so much this week. ive been slacking around, playing soccer, dota and spectating fights. its truely amazing, how oblivious we all are to our surroundings. to friends who were heading toward the wrong direction whom we could have helped but simply didnt extend that helping hand. im referring to a long time friend whom i saw recently, its sad that he has truly become ruthless and ignorant of the future. these are the people that will say to their children. 'i was a gangster in the past, thats why you're not rich. and thats why i will hit you when you're in the wrong.' they will blame the past for every single carcass rotting thing that goes the way you didnt expect it to.
what will you tell your children when they are all huddled beside you?
sad stories, happy memories, of long lasting relationships, of sex, of drugs, of alcohol with a slandering nymphomaniac of the female gender who happened to be below 16?
you decide what you're gonna tell them. so my friends, fairytales are the lies told to children to make them smile while sad stories teach them to grow up 'inside'. you are your own book's author.
manntis, axe of redemption lyrics.
MANNTIS - AXE OF REDEMPTION.
Axe Of Redemption
Fallen before me
The bringers of despair
Forgiveness will be forgotten
The time has past to care
Bow down and beg redemption
Severed is my control
Swing the axe cry for justice
Watch the heads begin to roll
Bow down and beg
Time to pay
Axe redemption
This time no one lives
No one will breathe again
Sacrifice what you have stolen
Time to pay
No time for your forgiveness
This time you fucked yourself
Once again bow down and beg
Time to pay
Time to pay
Bow down
This time
Swing the axe
Sacrifice
Heads roll
Your lost soul
hmmm, LIFE?
what is life?
what is life when you're longer on that constant search for something to brighten up the lonely days or when there's simply nothing that pushes you forth anymore.
what is life when the goals you've set to achieve are goals not set by you? what is life when there's constant search for things to turn you and i blind, blind to the ways we used to be as children. blind to simple happiness, neither through material posession nor achievement but by plain joy through love.
where is the love that i used to have, the love i used to receive?
recently ive been listening to ALOT of God Forbid, Chimaira, Damage Plan and other modern heavy metal bands. alot of lyrical inspiration now mainly due to my ma. currently working on a song about families, broken abused and tattered beyond reconciliation. and another song on life, its tragedies, the mistakes the agony and the pain.
ahh, ive been working so hard on these songs im becoming seriously depressed through working on it.
GOD FORBID FUCKING ROCKS, HEADBANGING MUSIC!
I HAVE A NEW BAND TO THAT I SIMPLY MUST LET ALL OTHER METAL HEADS KNOW ABOUT. ITS CALLED GOD FORBID AND THEY FUCKING ROCK.
this is about the best modern metal band(not nu-metal, dammit!) but rather moderm modern heavy metal. these are the lyrics for their song LIVING NIGHTMARE.
Empowered to enslave
Instructed to degrade the burden of victory (Burden of)
The bloodlust of a generation (Generation)
Blood on my hands
Mercy, Mercy for the weak
Judgement, judgement incomplete
My vanity shields me
Monitored to issue control (Monitored)
Widespread propaganda
Masked hidden agendas
Blood on my hands (On my hands)
Mercy, Mercy for the weak
Judgement, judgement incomplete
My vanity shields me
Mercy, Mercy for the weak
Judgement, judgement incomplete
My vanity shields me
My vanity shields me
Go! Our eyes receive, but can’t perceive their lies
This revulsion, my time
Mercy, Mercy for the weak
Judgement, judgement incomplete
My vanity shields me
Mercy, Mercy for the weak
Judgement, judgement incomplete.
religion.
religion, undoubtedly one of the most common topics picked for debates. every religion is right in its own aspect, every saint or god projected as the one to follow. here's my view on religion.
as a child, i grew up in a catholic family. i was never forced to pay attention during mass and i had no quizzes on bible knowledge. perhaps you might use this against me and smite me right in the face to challenge every single verb, noun and adjective present in this entry. its your choice but too bad sucka, its my damn blog.
the irish call roman catholicism as the true faith. mainly because, protestants, methodists, anglicans and so on and so for were breakaway churches that originated from catholicism. this means jesus was a catholic, the religion he died for was the roman catholic faith. the true faith however is challenged or rather incorporated by the muslim faith where jesus is said to be a fellow prophet just as the prophet mohammed. screw it, there are so many religions i cant give a rough overview of every single one.
lemme get straight to my point. i believe religion derived from ancient folklore that were created by a higher power other than the average villager or cavemen. the sole purpose of religion was to preserve peace, dignity and the security of its residing believers. the villagehead or chief cavemen were extremely smart, even at that time where they dragged woman by the hair to shag 'em. perhaps unknowingly, they used the greatest void within the human mind- the unknown. they created stories of flesh eating demons that rode through town, punishing sinners and casting them into eternal torment. every religion has its own consequence, the 18levels of hell, purgatory, so on and so on. it could go on forever. the common point that each and every religion share is that, good is repayed with good and evil with evil. since they all share the common point, it is very likely that they derived from the same source but just sprouted into various clans and groups. we humans, never ever letting something as precious as eternal salvation slip out of our grip choose the religion that seems most believable or perhaps some were just born into a family line of a certain religion and thus carried onward with his or her faith.
have you ever thought that perhaps your god is actually your conscience? for eg. when you've done something wrong, the guilt builds up within and you just want to feel better. so? confess and be forgiven. or. you want something so so so so badly but it seems just impossible. to improve the odds without losing anything at all, pray and hope religion will help you attain that certain desire. the human mind, is more powerful than any weapon in the world. because we are able to imagine.
i don't have any correct answers to religion, i have a point. when i pass on in life perhaps i will know whether i am correct or not.
malvina tan.
spent friday today eating fried rice. NO! im just joking. heh catchy first liner?
went out with malvina today. ahh, my long time friend whom i lost contact with after her o's. have you ever had a friend that made you believe in platonic friendships? but yet again contradict your very principles and fall madly in love with her? or perhaps just one of those friends who you looked forward to seeing in school, where everyday in school without her would be an ultimate bore. malvina's mine.
we were super close, as friends as fake lovers as confidantes. the meeting today was fab. at the very beginning, it felt kinda awkward and all but it wouldnt take long before we started talking like old wartime buddies. we talked about past incidences, horrible ex's and mainly alot of catching up with one another's life.
i believe that our friends are put in place by a higher power. im not saying its god but i believe there must be a certain form of organisation and control by a higher and more powerful being. could be aliens, other humans or maybe a cow. you never know. there are many people in my life who have left an impact so great that at my tender age of 16 or rather 17 to be. i can say these people have shaped the joel heng i am today.
people who have affected and influenced- my life.
-mdm charlotte tan, mdm chin swee yuen, PHILIP MORRIS, mr david heng yong eng, gerald tham, gregory tham, gerald chau, iggnatius tok, marcellus ryan, desmond foo, mark cheong, mark khoo, gabriel khoo eng huat, benjamin wang, marcus wong, aaron ng, alex wong, brandon lim(SPP), marcus wu, gabrielle tan(st mike's), gillian tan, malvina tan, siti nur aisyah, javier poon, tan chek meng, tan jianhao, jonathan ling, yak zhengkai, brandon lim, aaron teo, tan zhi zong, edwin yeo, ms teo siew lan, mrs jane see, vengadesh s/o karrupiah, ling weiting, reuben manjit, shawn subramaniam, leslie tan liang kai, haziq, james hetfield(metallica), ozzy osbourne, aaron lewis(staind), kooh weehou, ng zhiyu, johan goh, li teng song and last but never ever least MARIO PUZO, MITCH ALBOM and DAVID PELZER.
thank you all.
there will definitely be people whom i have left out so please dont start bawling if your name aint here. haha, its just that these people are the ones that come straight to mind.
Metallica's The Unforgiven.
Metallica - The Unforgiven
They dedicate their lives
To running all of his
He tries to please them all
This bitter man he is
Throughout his life the same
He's battled constantly
This fight he cannot win
A tired man they see no longer cares
The old man then prepares
To die regretfully
That old man here is me
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never be Never see
Won't see what might have been
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never free Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven
You labeled me
I'll label you
So I dub thee unforgiven.
