It's A Beautiful Day!
It's a b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l day! It's all grey and rainy, beautiful ain't it!
Night before was great. Accompanied Hui Min during her shift and after headed out to The Blue Jazz somewhere near Arab Street. Chilled there eating wedges and drinking Iced Affogato's(Ice creamed Black Coffee, sounds alcoholic I know. :P) Made a Mr Wedgey Smiley. I used to poke fun at people who did stuff like that and yea, what a stinking hypocrite I know.
Woke up to the screaming of Emily Rose this afternoon, Dad was watching the Dvd. Hmm, no kick lah. Though I really think the screaming and low growls were done by Angela Gossow, super sounds like her man. Hmm, wonder if any local movie producers need a death metal vocalist. Aiyah, don't laugh all you idiots. I like hoping.
Called her last night, she was clubbing. Goodness me, so
hiao ah? Heh!
Hui Min and Agnes have concluded that I'm a horrible person to be with when I'm drunk. Is that true! I know about the Subway Auntie & Apples thingy and that was my fault but.. Am I really that horrible boozed up? Questions and questions and no answers in sight. Screw it! It's friday night and we shall find out later! :)
Cheers all!
What goes around comes around? Yea.
2 days after Christmas. I'm sitting in my living room, facing a near dying laptop and watching Lamb Of God's Killadelphia for the 7th time. I feel dead, lifeless. Shouldn't I be rejoicing? I mean, it's CHRISTMAS. What the fuck's wrong with me?
WHAT THE FUCK'S WRONG WITH ME?
I'm so empty within. Even booze and pot has lost it's enthusiasm it once had on me, now THAT'S serious man. Ahh, I just need someone there to help me out through these times. I don't mean a friend, maybe in Marilyn Manson's context- A personal Jesus.
No girl is right enough, too cheena, too high up, too bimbotic, too materialistic, too punk rock, too goth, too act cute. The one who was right I dumped myself. Oh my, what a dickhead I've become. Oh hell, I'm just a sad little man.
Boxing Day05
Anybody have any idea what Boxing Day's meant to symbolise or signify? I really wanna find out man.
Went to catch The Chronicles Of Narnia(The Lion, Wardrobe and the other one I've forgotten already) with Rizwan, Agnes, Julian, Hui Min and this dude called Ah Pek? Very interesting show which however, did not impress me as much as it did the others. I must say that it had brilliant camera work. After interning with Sitting In Pictures I must say the nitty gritty details of a film interest me a whole lot more now.
I love the twist where the kids after have 'grown up' in Narnia return to the lamp post landmark and journey back to reality. To me, it signifies the whole 'waking up from a dream' thing. Heh, it was a good show, worth my $9.50
Another aspect of the movie that I enjoyed especially was the kid who played the little girl(Lucy or something). It sounds so so so wrong. Anyway, she's extremely talented man. I'm guessing she's approx. 8 years old max? And she posseses such great ability to display the role's emotions so well. Seriously, and I thought Valerie was good as a child actor.
Awww, aren't those kids just friggin' lucky? Referring to Dakota Fanning and all the other child actors. Seriously, they make big bucks, probably avoid a normal school, will never ever have to feel the 'want' for something because everything's practically so accesible, will never ever be humiliated because they're THE people. Ahh, ain't it the life? Was talking to Ma that day about these child actors, seems their mums just send them in for auditions and if they're good enough they get the part. Trust me when I say that some of the child actors I've worked with are not THAT good. Oh well, I'm just being the sourfaced jealous puggie.
That dark cloud of Gabrielle is still overcast above me. Especially now when we passed that building where we walked for hours. I remember it as the day we went to watch LOTR with Auntie Sandra, Ben, Joanne, Charlene, and Gabriel. Oh effing hell, why the hell do I always end up such bad decisions that kick me in the balls after I make them. There's nobody now that could lift my spirits more than she could, than she would. If we could just talk even as new found friends or even as strangers, it would suffice. Just to hear her voice once again(Gabriel Khoo Eng Huat, shuddup!) and just enjoy every last letter she pronounces so sweetly and imagine her lips curving.
I can practically still recall the times where we had just broken up. Seconds later, the phone rings, I ignore and leave the phone the silent. 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 times she called. Never answering, I watch tv. Then Shawn calls, 4 times. I remain focus on whatever tv programme I was watching. How heartless can I get? Now, she ignores me. Brushes me off, gives me the cold shoulder and the unmistakeble tone of ill contempt. How heartless can she get? I asked myself the other day when she simply rejected my call. I can almost feel my foot flying up my balls two years after that ill fated day.
It's hard to look onward when she's showed me all that life and love could be. Ahead, it's all bleak and grey. There's nothing beautiful in romantic movies and cudly bears anymore. There's nothing left to cherish, nothing that surprises me anymore, nothing to exclaim about or rejoice about. Worst of all, I feel dead inside. Incapable of emotion or gratitude.
Emo-Jojo. BOOHOO. I want to cut myself!
Aha, laughter is the best medicine? Heh, someone tell me a joke. A fucking good one or I'll rip your head off motherfucker. :)
'Happy' Hols everyone.
Updates for once! Xmas 05!
It's actually been so so so long since I last blogged that so many things have happened and I guess I'll just briefly run through the mini escapades of the past few months.
So the O's are over already. The gargantuan hurdle that for 5 years I have prepared myself for, its just over like that. Weird-ish.
Vintage Rock Pub, now a must-have every friday. Plays good stuff like Hammerfall, Primal Fear, Slipknot, Disturbed, Soulfly and as usual we have the undeniably irritating techno raves and chinese songs that totally kill the mood for headbanging.
More and more friends made, more and more friends lost. What happened to the friends that were once unseparable.
Been through a couple of short relationships to finally discover that maybe they are not the one for me. That maybe Gaby meant much more to me than I could have ever contemplated. This is the major bummer for the year man. And dammit, she's so hot now! Ahh! Regret.
Arch Enemy cover band up and running, Tower Of Bishops having a whole lot of issues now, death thrash project with Jowy and Chris and ex-Dathamonga bassist formed.
Guess thats it.
Now, for this weeks entry!
I don't know if its normal to have recurring dreams. Okay lemme list down how my dreams have been recently.
1. Always involve the living dead, zombies kinda theme.
2. Always being chased, always barricading doors.
3. Always involves GABY
What the hell man. I cannot think up the ingredients for such a recipe for a nightmare. It scares me that I actually think about her that much. After all, I ended us. So, why am I whining now! Don't get it. Anyway, today's dream had a part where missles were actually shot at us and I swear I felt the heat from the explosion man. I also dreamed about Hui Min doing some badass kungfu spinning wheel kick or something. Aha, the 'bai ka'. Not forgetting that I actually dreamnt that Charmaine had a tattoo just below her boob. Everything just doesn't make sense, the balance is upset! Something's wrong!
Spent the wee hours of Xmas in SPP as I have always done. Great meeting all my old buddies. Marcus is stinking fit thanks to OCS, Ben & Joanne are together, Charmaine Chan actually got me gifts!, Iggy is still the same, Greg & Linus the old paikia-ish people nice as ever. It felt good and warm inside, to see all the old buddies and just reminisce together. But it was shortlived. Had to rush down to Vintage, if I didn't get boozed up it wouldn't feel right. Hui Min was gone when I got there, Eric was with the A Butterfly Caught people and the female vocalist from the don't know which hardcore band. Downed a jug and a glass of JD coked in 20 minutes and then rushed off to 'Club 333'. It's actually a playground near Agnes's friend's place who stays at Block 333. Hence, the name. There was alot if not way too much hard liquor there. There was this dude who went test riding another dude's bike and as if his luck could not have been better got caught by the police who were actually sneaking around the corner. Jokes and jokes later(from this guy Kim, who is effing hilarious!) All of a sudden they ask me if I'm a drummer. I say No, Vocalist. Alot of drinks, police screenings, cigarettes and alot of Julian's heart burns later I'm doing a demo and it felt bloody shiok man. I think I've never done Death Metal Vocals any more brutal than that morning. Feeling unboozed up enough, I quickly down a couple of Black Label shots and bloody hell get super stoned. Leave the place at around 6 after breakfast and head home. Puked my 'mee pok' and pepsi twist out, in the very unglam view of all the early birds of Serangoon's residents.
So that was my Xmas! No fairytale love story or ONS to talk about, no girl holding my hand throughout the cold morning or anything romantically related. Emo time!
