FIGHTING MYSELF

Blog is back up. Apologies. I simply got sick of reading the archives and being reminded of everything else in the past.

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Tokyo's calling.

posted by JOEL @ 12:41 PM 0 comments

T Minus 5D.

5 days left to the assessment perhaps I'm blessed withe the propspect of additional time but there still is that overwhelming stench of fear that pulsates through this room like a beacon.

I collapsed in bed today, collapsed and fell through the sheets into a dark, morbid dream. It was a thriller/horror movie which Dad apparently complains is from the kind of music I listen to. How can that be when my playlist the entire morning has been nothing but Album Leaf's Into The Blue Again, Postal Service's Give Up & Panic! At The Disco? I don't know.

I saw Mischa in the dream, as Subra, Leslie & myself were sitting at the docks, tieing our boots for soccer and warming up. Soon, everybody starts walking toward the ferry. I turn around to bid Vans and Jessica farewell and goodluck as we apparently were on some project mission that we had to collect all kinds of stuff for clues. I see Mischa with her slightly amused yet I couldn't be sure. Why would she be in the least of happy's to be seeing her old chum aye? I swing and slam a gym push up bar to the floor, the least of my expectations. And I run to my ferry that brings me to the soccer game and then run back to see the other ferry departing. I chase the ferry back and forth, indecisive at whatever decision I was gonna make. I make it in time for Vans' carriage. I told her what I saw and she said "Yes. I know, I know. It's just Mischa what, relax lah." Jessica then pipes in with her draggy voice in childish chider "Yah, it's Misscchhhhhaaaa" Vans then chips in with "Besides she was with Naomi & Campbell what".

Now that's the confusing part. The one Naomi that I actually know in flesh and not over pseudo internet profiles is Agnes' Naomi. Which I do not talk to at all, I caught a glimpse of a short haired and tanned girl standing in the carriage that Mischa was supposedly in. You wouldn't believe me but my dreams have a fade in effect. An image of a guy, some tall, skinny wanker in an unbuttoned shirt & white tee inside faded in. I swear to God on my very life.

Then I run back to the ferry, this time it's full of traps, weird traps intended for you to fall down flat on your face. I cannot explain unarmed combat here but it just works something like that. I scurry through trap after trap, leap over leap. but as I approach the ferry gate. A wolf/dog appears. I'm not sure if this is actually the nine tailed fox thing but it sure as hell resembled. The colour, the teeth, the streaks but the only part I cannot assure you of my precarious mythological situation is the tails. Anyway, I get bitten and chased.

And just like every typical thriller/horror, there has to be a huge jump scene. Where the lead leaps across from dock to moving boat kinda? Yes, that kind. I do the same and that's where I woke up in jolting fear.

I got so freaked out I had to hear the first soothing voice in my head. I couldn't call Australia so I called Ally. I blurted out questions on her assessment but I really just needed someone there to ferry me back to reality. It's a strange habit that I've always had. Either that or I'll talk myself out of the dream. Thank you Ally, you still are a gem you know that.

Jesus, now after that escapade of river jumping, heart wrenching thriller/horror. I'm back to drawing the mosque I started on earlier.

posted by JOEL @ 12:30 AM 0 comments

Caution To Priority.

Hawhaw, I got drunk today with just about 10 days to my assessment.

With 2D Final, 3D Final, Internal Final, Internal & External Drawings undone, 2D Exercises, External Test Collages, 3D Test Pieces, Internal Test Collages, Research undone.

Motherfucking genius.

posted by JOEL @ 4:08 AM 0 comments

I think I need another ladder, Sir.

I have to run, run further than I have ever gone. I have to escape this separate dimension once again.

I'm lost and clinging unto dear life with a threaded rope that has burnt itself out too thin from my frequent tugging at it's frail compromise. The irony of it all sends raging anticipation down the narrow flow of thoughts.

I need to make it, I need to take myself a little higher.

posted by JOEL @ 2:43 AM 0 comments